When I met with mama- and sex blogger Anne Sabo back in January, I asked her if she knew much about the sex education programs at Northfield area schools, and more specifically, whether educators were allowed to talk to kids about masturbation. She didn’t know but promised to find out.
New national minimum standards for sex education curriculum are not going to remedy the situation. These non-binding recommendations were recently released to states and school districts in an effort to encourage age-appropriate discussions about sex, bullying and healthy relationships. Though this may seem a positive measure, the recommendations reflect the disappointingly low level of quality sex education we have arrived at today after decades of funding and promoting abstinence-only programs, though abstinence-only programs have proven highly ineffective. The standards really do capture a bare minimum.
Anne didn’t include Northfield-specific sex ed info in her blog post since that blog has a wider audience. But she’s agreed to attach a comment here on what she’s found out.
For those of you wondering about Joycelyn Elders, she was appointed Surgeon General in 1993 by President Bill Clinton. The Wikipedia entry says:
In 1994, she was invited to speak at a United Nations conference on AIDS. She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, "I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught."
Anne’s blog post includes this YouTube video, a hilarious scene in an episode from the TV series Weeds in which "uncle Andy gives a lesson in how to masturbate well to one of his nephews." For those of you reluctant to watch/listen/click, I’ve included the transcript below the video, courtesy of IMDB:
Alright, listen closely. I’m not going to beat around the bush. Ha ha ha. Your little body’s changing – it’s all good, believe me. Problem now is… every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. So… First order of business – no more socks. They’re expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can’t spew it into Mr. Sock?" Glad you asked… You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning – that eliminates the need for a goo glove. But, the day is long, masturbation’s fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we’re gonna need some other options.
So let’s start with the basics. Tissues. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a fuckin’ band-aid – ouch. From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers – specificially, bananas. Step one: Peel the banana. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Not too hot! Serious yowza. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. In my opinion, the best lube… is lube. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Alright, moving on – when you tug your Thomas on the toilet – ffft – shoot right into the bowl. In bed – soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don’t mind tossing after tossing. There’s no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. Also, practice makes perfect. So work on your control now, while you’re a solo artist – you’ll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. Ok – class dismissed.
Three weeks ago, I stopped by the Angry Catfish Bicycle and Coffee Bar in south Mpls on my way to the Cuyuna Lakes Whiteout. I wanted to take some photos so that I could promote this week’s Big Ring: 2nd Gear Art Auction that’s hosted there. The event, a benefit for SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education), features many Northfield-area artists among the 17 and is being organized by Northfielder Bill Metz.
I met the owner, Joshua Klauck, and the general manager, Ben Rogowski, who graciously posed for a photo with the poster for the event.
You can see some of the artwork that’s been donated by the artists on the event’s Facebook page where Bill has been busy posting updates and photos.
“The book is an enthralling read that made me both laugh and cry. I literally couldn’t put it down. I suspect you will feel the same way.” —Midwest Book Review Bookwatch, reviewer Alma Bond
When the road home becomes daunting—a very capable girl on a bicycle can help find the way.
Beloved writer Charlene Baumbich turns her pen to the topic of unlikely friendships and lavish grace in her newest novel.Set in small-town Minnesota, the novel’s warm humor and small town feel will resonate with Baumbich fans. Meanwhile, the ballet backdrop provides an exciting glimpse into the world of dance.
When principal ballerina Sasha Davis suffers a career-ending injury at age thirty-eight, she retreats to her recently deceased mother’s home to recover. Reluctantly accepting that she can’t recover alone, she hires nineteen year-old übercapable Evelyn Burt. As the wounds begin to mend, the women form an unlikely alliance and discover the astounding power of even the smallest act done in the name of love.
Charlene Ann Baumbich is the author of the Dearest Dorothy series,Stray Affections, and Divine Appointments, as well as several nonfiction books of humor and inspiration. She is also a popular speaker, an award-winning journalist, and lives with her husband in Glen Ellyn, Illinois.
Group Study Exchange (GSE) is a unique educational experience that furthers international understanding by providing an opportunity for outstanding business and professional people to study another country, its people, its culture and its institutions. Each GSE team visits a Rotary district in another country for four weeks. Team members stay in the homes of Rotarians, if possible, and follow an itinerary of educational and cultural points of interest. Travel and living expenses are covered during the exchange by The Rotary Foundation, Rotarians and Rotary District 5960.
A Rotary District 5960 GSE team will visit Rotary District 4550 in Bahia, Brazil, from April 8, 2012 – May 5, 2012. The focus of the exchange will be public policy, public health and economic development. Rotary offers this opportunity to spend a month living with local Rotarians and seeing the country in a way few will ever experience.
The revamped Northfield Target store will include a Starbucks coffeeshop (Nfld News article here, Nfld Patch article here). They plan to sell a lot of coffee, evidently, because earlier this week, oceangoing containers filled with coffee arrived in the north parking lot. Jeesh.
I’d like to give the print to the one of the families whose kids appear in the photo.
I took the photos of these kids (two more above) at the model railroad train display at the Northfield Library during the 2009 Winter Walk (album here).
A council-appointed study group on Tuesday will recommend a thorough review of the future of the city-owned Northfield Hospital, including a look at the facility’s ownership. The Ad Hoc Finance Study Group, charged with reviewing potential revenue streams for the city, made the recommendation after more than a year of discussions with the Hospital Board. It’s expected to discuss its findings during next week’s City Council meeting and ask that a task force be appointed to conduct the in-depth review.
In addition to selling the hospital, other options the study group has discussed include establishing an annual contribution to the city from the hospital, similar to that approved earlier this year, and creation of an alternate ownership while retaining local control…
How the task force and the hospital board might work together was a concern. Councilor Betsy Buckheit said it should be clear that the city is instigating this. Councilor Ivan Imm who serves on both the council and the hospital board said cooperation shouldn’t be forced, but the council should ask for the opportunity to work together. The city administrator and hospital president will support the task force in its work and it is possible they will contract “outside resources.”
Jane included this comment with her report:
What are core city services? The work of the Finance Advisory Group appears to be guided by their collective understanding of what constitute core services. This is a topic the council has not discussed, and thus has not given the advisory group direction on this important value. It is a topic we need to think about as citizens in evaluating the work of the council as it struggles to adjust to difficult financial times.
I don’t have an informed opinion about Northfield Hospital ownership but I like what the Ad Hoc Finance Study Group has done thus far so their recommendation to have council-appointed study group look at the issue seemed a good one. But for some reason, even talking about the issue is troubling for some people. In yesterday’s Nfld News: Hospital study on hold, pending conversations between leadership
“This has been very disturbing for us at the hospital,” said Crow. “This has been very disturbing for our staff. There’s a devaluing of what we do just by having this discussion.” Speaker after speaker asked — even implored — the City Council to take care when studying such a valuable community asset. The hospital, owned by the city for nearly 80 years, showed a net profit of $2.7 million in 2010.
Hospital President Mark Henke likened the process to a digital rectal exam, saying “there’s only so much you should fight.” “We’re trying to run a $75 million company … and we’re going through a lot of distractions. As we go through our exam, it remains to be seen if we will need sedation,” he said.
I’m with Jane McWilliams. Why not have a Council-led community discussion about what constitutes core public services, including the Northfield Hospital? After all, real men don’t fear the finger.
The space at 300 S. Water St., most recently a photography studio, is undergoing a build-out. Guess what current Northfield business is moving in there?
Likewise, the space at 209 S. Water St., formerly Erbert & Gerberts, is undergoing a build-out. Guess what two businesses are moving in there? Hint: they are not retail and they are not currently Northfield businesses.
The Northfield Historical Society held its 37th annual meeting last night at Carleton’s Great Hall. The NHS honored the Hvistendahl family at the event (Marion, David and Susan Hvistendahl) for being long-time supporters. The blog post by Executive Director Hayes Scriven has more on their contributions over the years. See the large slideshow of 10 [...]
Yesterday’s St. Patrick’s Day parade began on downtown’s west side and wound its way over the pedestrian foot bridge, along Riverwalk to Bridge Square, and then back to the Contented Cow‘s outdoor stage area. The holy trinity of Kevin O’Connell, Jim Bohnhoff, and Jim Pokorney, after many weeks minutes of planning, once again pulled [...]
The Minnesota High School Cycling League held their Kick-Off Open House at QBP’s HQ last Sunday night. About 100 people attended. Gary Sjoquist, QBP’s Advocacy Director, hosted the event and presented the detailed plans in two separate sessions. Here’s the 31-minute audio: Click play to listen or download the MP3. Gary said that [...]
Northfield Assistant Fire Chief Tom Nelson stopped by my corner office at GBM yesterday. We mostly argued, hence the scowls in the left photo. (Feel free to sort through the 180+ comments to my blog post to find my criticisms of the Northfield Fire Department. More to come?) But one thing we did agree [...]
I took this blurry photo (I had too much wine, evidently) of proprietor Norman Butler on the deck of the Contented Cow last night, holding my smartphone with the poster for tomorrow’s St. Patrick’s Day parade that Jim Bohnhoff sent me. Take a close look at the poster, as the parade route is different [...]
When I was up at St. Olaf’s Buntrock Commons earlier this week, I noticed a very cool display on the impact of student use of disposable coffee cups. The top of the white board proclaimed: There is no such thing as a sustainable disposable cup The bulk of the notes on the white board [...]
I came arrived too late for last night’s Condom Olympics in the Lion’s Pause at St. Olaf’s Buntrock Commons. I was hoping to get photos of the condom relay race but only managed a photo of the sign. What are the Condom Olympics? Back by popular demand, the Wellness Center is hosting a team-based competition [...]
As I exited the Milltowns Trail on Sunday, I noticed this large rock at the south entrance to Sechler Park has been tagged with a phrase not seen in other graffiti outbreaks here in Northfield.
Last Friday, I got this email and photo from Steve Wilmot: Griff, We may have some confused tourists today as all the street signs for Division Street appear to be in the back of this City truck. Thought you would find this interesting. I took these photos over the weekend, assuming that the [...]
While listening to archived Law Review radio shows on KYMN recently, I noticed that Attorney David Hvistendahl, a member of the Northfield Park & Rec Advisory Board (PRAB), was particularly disparaging of the Northfield City Council, Northfield City Administrator Tim Madigan, and Northfield Safety Center Director and Police Chief Mark Taylor. Here is a [...]
Margit Johnson, Northfield Public Library Board member, stopped by my corner office at GBM today (without an appointment again, jeesh) to let me know about Monday’s meeting about The Future of Our Public Library, 7-8:30 p.m., in the NCRC, Room 103. Futurists will be presenting. Jane McWilliams over at Northfield.org has blogged the details. Flashback: [...]
The Board of Directors of the Cannon River Watershed Partnership cordially invites our members and the public to attend our Annual Membership Meeting, Monday March 19, 6:30 – 8:30 PM, St. John’s Lutheran Church, 500 3rd St. West. There will be social time and refreshments, a brief membership meeting and a keynote presentation by Commissioner [...]
This is a real surprise. In today’s Nfld news: Council votes to split police, fire The Northfield City Council, as expected, settled on a new Safety Center site Tuesday. But instead of choosing a parcel to house a joint facility, it voted 5-1, with Mayor Mary Rossing abstaining, to move ahead with the purchase of [...]
Stewart Stroup, the father of Jake Stroup (vocalist & mandolin player for The Last Known Whereabouts) graciously mailed me the group’s CD recently after they performed their reunion show at the Cow. I thought I recognized the house in the photo on the cover of their Reaching Out for History CD, and shore ’nuff, [...]
I had lunch earlier this week with Kevin Keane, race team director for the 1 year-old Cannon Valley Velo Club (CVVC). (That’s Kevin on the right in left photo above – photo by Shane Kitzman, Northfield News.) We discussed all things mountain biking and I’ve signed on to be the club’s new mountain biking [...]
Griff Wigley: I should have included a reference to this in the blog post: Chuck Berry’s only #1 single, My Ding-a-Ling. Forty years ago and it’s still, um, a touchy issue. This here song, it ain’t too sad Cutest little song you...
Griff Wigley: Kiffi, I’m working on a blog post about DARE so I’d like to keep this message thread focused on sex ed. Thanks for the nudge!
kiffi summa: Anne: what do you think about the DARE program? Is the parallel of the quality (NF continues to use although widely discredited as to effectiveness) of the DARE program useful to consider, although Dare has a different subject matter?...
Anne G. Sabo: Since I met with Griff back in January, I’ve found out quite a bit about the level and content of the sex education courses taught in Northfield’s public schools. Essentially, the fact that we cannot count on public...
Griff Wigley: As I departed GBM this morning after posting this, I told a friend about it and he made a wisecrack about masturbation causing blindness. It occurred to me that in my case, my eyesight is as good as ever but my hearing continues to...
Michelle Millenacker: Griff- I believe the little boy in the dark blue shirt is Tommy Rice. Tommy lives across the street from us in Dundas with his parents, Rory & Carrie, and brother Charlie. Hope this helps!
Brenton Balvin: I know it undermines the minimal amount of “townie” creed I’ve working to build in the last 12 months, but I will be interested in drinking oceangoing containers worth of Starbucks coffee should it become...
Angela Lauterbach: You realize these are “lay-down” containers, right? Stuff goes there while re-sets are done on shelves inside. That way the shopping environment has minimal construction mayhem. If they were full of corporate coffee...
Griff Wigley: And just like I wrote last August, you wouldn’t know about the Depot news by following the Northfield Depot on Twitter or checking their website, nor by checking their Facebook page. Hopefully this will change, now that they...
Griff Wigley: Nfld News: Land sale puts depot restoration into fundraising phase After more than a year of discussion, the council unanimously approved an agreement with the organization to sell a small parcel of land to house the city’s historic...
Marie Fischer: Haven’t been on here in a long time, but this is always a topic very dear to me. As always, I think Ames would be an amazing location, but that was back when the idea of an all-concrete, brand new skate plaza was still the...
John Thomas: Couldn’t one of the outdoor hockey rinks be modified slightly near the Hockey Arena, or the one behind Tacoaisis to accommodate a permanent home for this, that is accessible by the new trail, in a park environment, has parking...
Sean Hayford Oleary: My understanding from that article was that asphalt was unsuitable because it gets too soft in the summer heat. It seems like the Village on the Cannon pad or NCRC parking lot would have the same issue. (NCRC is also not very...
Griff Wigley: Sean, I like the Ames Park location, too. But now with the movable skatepark equipment, the momentum on the PRAB apparently is to find a location to test that has already enough concrete or asphalt. Seems reasonable to me.
Griff Wigley: Might there be room for the skatepark equipment in the parking lot at the NCRC building?
Bruce Morlan: I just hope that if this becomes a “bottom line” analysis that the bean counters consider not only the income stream but also the depreciation. In 30-40 years, when serious money is needed to repair and update the...
Jane Moline: I agree, Kiffi. I think some of the problems that arise when this is discussed is the fear that a highly value community service/asset will be co-opted by either evil intention or well-intentioned but easily misled, overworked city...
Kathie Galotti: What lovely headlines you come up with, Griff! Talk about poetry in journalism…
kiffi summa: some history: at the time that the Friends of Way Park group was trying to get the land that the former hospital was built on to return to its original dedicated use as parkland, we got pretty knowledgeable about the relationship of...
kiffi summa: Griff: I was feeling somewhat guilty about the grossness of my language in #81, even it was a ‘furtherance’ of the original comment made, but given your verb choice, in your first sentence, I have gotten over that!...
Griff Wigley: Kiffi, thanks for, um, inserting this hospital issue into the discussion. I’ve got a new blog post up on it here. If 30 or 50 or 100 hospital employees wanted to meet with the Council to air their grievances directly, I’d...
kiffi summa: At last night’s council meeting, the reaction to the Ad Hoc Finance Study Group recommendation that the ownership (city’s) model of the NF Hospital be studied… if that brings our pleasant , soft spoken, solid...
Jane Moline: I really think that anyone with any experience with the League knows that they are not batting 100%. Their “proactive” advice is spent on simple, easy to recommend changes like “don’t let your volunteers pick...
kiffi summa: And let’s also remember that the L of MN Cities is a member organization so is likely to take an advocacy position; members are obviously cities who pay a yearly fee. It’s in the disbursements somewhere…
Kathy Jasnoch: I want to echo what Sandy Vesledahl says and thank the Parade organizers for welcoming dogs in the Parade. I also went home with 3 very tired dogs-it was a big day for my two younger dogs, their first Parade. And we appreciate the...
Sandy Vesledahl: One other thing, I also felt it was a lot more fun along the River Walk! Great decision guys!
Sandy Vesledahl: Hey Griff! Thank you for the wonderful parade photos, especially of the O’Bassets of Union Street! Once again this was such a fun day and all three dogs slept away the rest of the day! As we were waiting for the start of the...
Griff Wigley: No worries, Megan. My snarky comment (“Pitiful!”) was aimed at Patch and the News for publishing stories that were as worthless as my blog post.
Megan Tsui: Griff, It would seem to me that the reason that the story is pitiful is that this is not yet a story. Businesses often do not wish to reveal their new digs until they are ready to open. This can happen for many reasons; for example,...
Griff Wigley: Both Patch and the News have done little stories on the 209 Water St. site, but they don’t count, IMHO, because they contain about as much info as one of my posts. Pitiful! http://northfield.patch.com...
Griff Wigley: I’m guessing Hvisty would like this commentary by Bill Maher in yesterday’s NY Times: Please Stop Apologizing I don’t want to live in a country where no one ever says anything that offends anyone. That’s why we have...
Griff Wigley: Curt, David referenced your clever comment (“David’s female cohost sycophantically lobs up rhetorical softballs, and then marvels at his brilliant, scathing responses. It’s retrograde, but entertaining.”) at the end of...
kiffi summa: giggles (from griff) versus accusations of royalist tendencies (from Hvisty) … much ado about nothing; I guess Hvisty didn’t have a show topic for this week! Might I suggest as a topic: an investigation into the $$amount...
Elizabeth C. Taylor: Yes, indeed I do have more time on my hands now. I just turned on the TV to see if I could find any news to watch, and some guy named “Peyton Manning” is on the air talking about coming to Denver to play…. Uh...
Susan Hvistendahl: Griff, I’ve recruited my long-time friend Elizabeth from Brookings days, who obviously has more time on her hands since retiring last week, to add to the listening audience tonight at 6. So add Larkspur, Co., to the...
Griff Wigley: Glad you’ll be tuning in today, Elizabeth. I actually asked the KYMN folks today whether they could bleep out swear words on a live show, just in case David and I get carried away. Alas, they can’t, so we’ll do our...
Elizabeth C. Taylor: Those of us Coloradans who are sick and tired of listening to earthshaking news about various quarterbacks coming and going (?) will be eagerly following this ongoing story. Your war story is much more interesting and has far...
Susan Hvistendahl: That would be Tuesday, March 20, 6 p.m. I expect a world-wide audience for this one, via www.kymnradio.net.
kathy cooper: I saw the coffee cup display on Wed. as well, and thought to myself,I hope one of the blogs post this as is well done and make quite a statement, I mean over $47,000 for coffee cups in a year. A terrible waste of money. I vow to...
Jean Wakely: It’s going to be a great evening! Make your first stop at the NAG Theater to hear ALEKA give her first Northfield concert from 7-8….then on to green beer in Northfield. She is playing a selection of original songs and...
Jane Moline: I think the headline the NN ran was atrocious–but I also think the continual harangue from Griff at LG has not helped–but I think the overall problem we should be worried about is that our dedicated, efficient, effective,...
Aramis Wells: I guess what really gets me looking back at some of the threads I’ve had. I corrected Suzy’s numbers minutes after the original story came out online on the 6th of March. Then after a week of being corrected she still ran...
Aramis Wells: That’s a good question Kiffi. I have been telling Suzy this for 10 days and she believes her numbers are correct. Even though the only documentation she has to back it up clearly proves her wrong. All I’m asking is she...
kiffi summa: I have to ask it here again: Why does the NFNews persist in always taking the side of whatever they perceive the power structure to be rather than independently doing thorough research and presenting stories that are factual? Why...
Griff Wigley: I wonder if the organizers of the Condom Olympics had a complementary message for their male audience: “If you’re not going to sack it, go home and whack it.”
Griff Wigley: For that, Nick, you win a case of Love Gloves.
New national minimum standards for sex education curriculum are not going to remedy the situation. These non-binding recommendations were recently released to states and school districts in an effort to encourage age-appropriate discussions about sex, bullying and healthy relationships. Though this may seem a positive measure, the recommendations reflect the disappointingly low level of quality sex education we have arrived at today after decades of funding and promoting abstinence-only programs, though abstinence-only programs have proven highly ineffective. The standards really do capture a bare minimum.
In 1994, she was invited to speak at a United Nations conference on AIDS. She was asked whether it would be appropriate to promote masturbation as a means of preventing young people from engaging in riskier forms of sexual activity, and she replied, "I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught."
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